


It Kills

by judith_wiley



Category: Davis/White - Fandom, Meryl Davis/Charlie White - Fandom
Genre: Dancing with the stars - Freeform, F/M, RPF, figure skating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-27
Updated: 2014-04-27
Packaged: 2018-01-21 01:34:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1532816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/judith_wiley/pseuds/judith_wiley
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It kills to watch you love another...</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Kills

**Author's Note:**

> This short story was inspired by the song "It Kills" by The Afghan Whigs. I hope you all enjoy this. I'm new at this, but please feel free to leave comments.

It was three in the morning, and she was expected to be up at six to prep for a long day of both the current stop on the Stars on Ice tour and Dancing with the Stars. Some days she forgot what city they were in, but she still enjoyed every minute she shared with her friends and partner on the ice. 

Sighing in frustration and looking at the alarm clock beside her, Meryl Davis got out of bed and changed into her workout clothes. The hotel the Stars on Ice tour booked them in had a 24 hour gym, and if she couldn't sleep, then she would take her worries out on the treadmill. 

Moments later, walking into an empty room, she moved towards the first treadmill she spotted. Not wanting to exhaust herself, she set the pace for a twenty minute mile and began walking as she put her earbuds into her ear. Not wanting something too fast paced, she shuffled a playlist of relaxing music she used when she stretched out after a workout. Sure, it wasn't typical for walking, but she hoped the music would take her mind off of every single thought she wanted to avoid thinking about. When the shuffle landed on the music they won their gold medal with, Meryl quickly pressed to the next song.

Focusing on the wall in front of her and the slow, steady movement of her legs and arms, Meryl wanted to think of anything but her skating partner, Charlie White. Guilty of overanalyzing things to a point of madness, Meryl wished she could linger on the chemistry she shared with Maks. She smiled as she thought of him, but it was a short joy - eventually her thoughts would drift back to the boy, no man, she grew up with. 

Slowly, their relationship began to shift after they returned home from Sochi. It was a rollercoaster of appearances, interviews, photo ops, and there were moments where she needed to disappear so she could remind herself to breathe. Sure, Dancing With the Stars was fun, but ever since that first night of competition, there was a drift that began to slowly pull them apart. 

Meryl wasn't mad when Charlie taught Sharna their Scherazade lift; she didn't even put too much thought into the fact that they hardly saw each other when dance rehearsals occurred. The affections of her Ukranian partner were appreciated, welcomed almost, but the clear difference was that Charlie felt like home. 

Nobody got her but him, and while she was well practiced in smiling and pretending that everything was fine whenever he stressed his five year relationship with Tanith, a part of her felt like her heart was decaying. It was the most important muscle in the body, yes, but she was so afraid that her unrequited feelings would force it to turn to ash. She feared that her love for Charlie would take away her ability to ever love another man the way that she loved him. 

Not noticing that her walk became a slow jog, Meryl tried to figure out a solution to an equation that seemed almost impossible to solve. Still, the answer was simple... move on, but how does one go about such a task? They talked about vacationing in Hawaii after Dancing was over, but she didn't know if she could continue to pretend. It killed her, and for the first time in her life, she was truly afraid that this was the beginning of their end. She just needed some sort of assurance that all would be well, but she knew that it would only be cold comfort. 

Maybe her fears of losing him made her believe that she was in love with him. Maybe it was just a passing phase. She didn't know anything anymore, and while part of her wanted to be selfish and put everything on the line for him, the rejection was something she couldn't bear the thought of suffering through. 

Should she let him go - let him be happy, and try to see if her relationship with Maks could evolve? Should she fight for the life she always somehow imagined would work itself out once they won the gold? Meryl was torn between two paths, and while running on a treadmill wouldn't truly solve her problems, Meryl knew that her time was running out. 

She foolishly thought that once they won the gold, everything else would be golden, but it was only now that she realized that the next few weeks would either make her or break her.


End file.
